Bible-thumpers claim it's because they are spiritually inept. Your hairdresser will tell you it's because all the non-crazy “lookers” are taken. Successful ones say they like the lifestyle. Unsuccessful ones blame it on their looks. But of all the unlikely sources, Reddit has apparently got to the bottom of why men are single.
In fact the thread, “Guys, why are you single?”, proved so insightful it was taken seriously by scientists from the University of Nicosia and published in the journal Evolutionary Psychological Science. Go figure.
Although answers like, “Because I suck dick at text communication,” or “I spend all my money on car parts… and I'm happier for it, lol” are hardly the high water mark for scientific research, many of the answers are refreshingly honest:
- The Venn diagram of girls I like and girls that like me looks like Mesut Özil's eyes.
- Because I'm a 41-year-old with all the qualifications and achievements of a 19-year-old.
- Because i can masturbate.
Although they would sound out of place in a psychology class, others like, “I don't try. That might just be me in denial, but I legitimately don't try. I make no efforts to not be single,” definitely fit into Maslow's hierarchy or Freud's theses somewhere.
- Being fat and shy surely isn't helping me out.
- There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert.
- I don't dare speak with people…
And our personal favourite blamed the world of fashion; “Tinder is a shit show filled with single moms wearing a camo hoodie.” Anyway, sartorial questions aside, why is it that 34.5% of the adult population “identify as single and have never cohabited or married” (Evolutionary Psychological Science)?
Great thing about being single in your late-30's is knowing for sure that you're the problem.
- Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) August 11, 2018
According to professor Menelaos Apostolou, Reddit shows men stay single for three main reasons: they suck at flirting, they believe a relationship will compromise their life goals, or they are handicapped by genetic/environmental circumstances (“I go to an engineering school”).
“The mismatch between ancestral and modern conditions has resulted in several individuals lacking the adaptations necessary for attracting and retaining mates, individuals can increase their fitness by opting out of relationships, and individuals have constraints that prevent them from attracting a mate.”
In his paper, “13,429 responses from a recent Reddit thread were analyzed, and 6794 responses were coded and classified in 43 categories. The conclusions are as follows:
Top 10 Reasons Men Are Single (According To Them)
1. Poor looks
2. Low self-esteem/confidence
3. Low effort
4. Not interested in relationships
5. Poor flirting skills
6. Introverted
7. Recently broken up
8. Bad experiences from previous relationships
9. No women available
10. Overweight
One surprising outlier, “fear of commitment,” came in at no. 39, suggesting that the fuccboi bachelor stereotype may not be all it's cracked up to be. If this isn't you, howevs, and you're looking for inspiration to make your next move, check out the following guide…